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walking hand in hand....

 

and I miss you so

Pernah ga kamu merasa berada di atas sebuah "choise bridge" dimana kamu harus memilih antara sisi mana yang akan kamu lalui. Menimbang-nimbang jalan mana yang terbaik  untuk kamu. Di dalam hidup kamu, pasti kamu pernah melalui jalan yang salah, karena kamu tidak mempertimbangkan dengan benar sebelum kamu memilih. Dan kamu tidak ingin melalui jalan yang salah lagi, bukan?

Sekarang aku ada di "choise Bridge" itu? Menimbang jalan mana yang akan aku lalui. Menimbang baik buruknya. Tapi, I have came to my decision. Walaupun berat aku harus memilih jalan tersebut.

Maafkan aku apabila ada jiwa yang terluka karena pilihanku.....(nantinya kamu juga akan tahu kalau itu adalah yang terbaik untuk kita berdua)

Kenapa aku mulai merasa bosan dengan semuanya, termasuk kamu.
Aku merasa semuanya telah berbeda.
Tidak sehangat seperti dulu

eh mo balik ke sini nih http://aluvely.blogspot.com

Kamu tau, tidak?

Aku sumpah takut..

Untuk Jatuh cinta lagi......

Aku tau kamu jauh..
 
Tak'an pernah menyentuh ku..

Bahkan untuk melihat mataku..

Tiap pagi kebiasaan ku adalah ngecek e-mail pas sampai kantor, instead kerja malah sibuk ngecek email, suatu pagi aku  liat email dengan subjek "Tolong" dalam bahasa inggris, aku buka dengan takut karena aku tau yang kirim email itu adalah temen milis di salah satu milis percakapan bahasa inggris.

Ternyata si bule asal amrik ini mo ngajak temenan, senengnya, sampe sekarang kami masih ngirim email, ngririm sketch dan bikin blog bareng.

Dia baik banget dan irresistable, I can help myself, dia tampan, dan aku sangat takut untuk jatuh cinta dengan lelaki itu, karena aku sudah memiliki kekasih.

Arggghhh...Please God dont let me  jatuh cinta sama dia.
I ask You many time in my pray..
I have to be loyal to my lover
Though my lover is away from Jakarta
I dont wanna this empty soul is replaced by someone
But let me know this way out..
Truly I can help myself
I am just a girl
I am not intentionally doing this
This is inside me
this feeling is suffocate me
cannot breathe alot


Photo taken from art.com

I was wrong for many things. I believe someone's story once at the time, but after that I just know that she/he just telling a lie. I hate phony people.

They claim, I am their friend, but why they treat me like this? What I have to do?

A true best friend is (according to my opinion) :

1. Someone that I can rely on him/her.
2. I can cry with her/him..
3. I can tell my dirty little secret to her / to him.
4. Who understand and can accept me, no matter how disgusting I am.
5. Who tell me when Imake mistake.
6. I can feel compy if I have to be with him/her for several hours, and talking about
anything.
7. Who always be my side when I need him/her.
8. Who knows all about me.

I dont need a perfect person as my friend, "YOU"
Yes, "YOU" I need a best friend which on my criteria above, if you dont fit on those creteria, just regard me as a friend, will you?? I dont need a phony person, coz I will hate you someday...

But...the matter is...

Can I hate you?
I dont have a brave heart to hate someone just because she/he forgets me a little while..
You are too precious as friend...
I value you as a friend..


Note: This post goes to my all best friend in the world..

Why you always like that?
tuuutttt....tuttttt..tutttt

He hang up the phone..
I thought that he was angy.
There is no need to angry..

If you dont wanna call me..
That's okay..
I can talk to somebody..

CAN I FALLING IN LOVE AGAIN???


This was the stupid thoughts on my mind this morning! along to the office I remembered some of movie that I've watched in weekend.

Breakfast at tiffany.
Nothing Hill.
Brownies
etc.


ah..kok jadi bodoh sih???

It is like I am in the middle of the tornado.
All spining.
Why every one seems so busy with their own life.
If they need someone to talk to,
Then they will be nice to me.
Sometimes I hate this kinda of people
I will say to him/her ***hole

Dear Lover..
If I have the invisible wings,
I can fly anytime I want to anywhere.
Unfortunately I don’t have it.
I have only my body and my soul to observe this wide world.

If I can walk towards you..
Gazing at your eyes…
I could take my time to wish upon a star..

Give me your hands so I can reach you..
I will make sure that everything will just fine.

If you smsed me, and tell that you missing me
What can God does?
Watching our body lay down hopeless.. and weak..
You said I have to wait..
How many hours I have to count
One..two..three..four…
I am afraid of falling in love to someone else..

Dear lover..
Keep my heart ..
Keep this peaces stick with you..

It is like a dream, I wait until I wake up, but why this dream doesn’t have the end. Can somebody wake me up? Dream sometimes can be so beautiful, that we don’t wanna wake up. But this time I just wanna live in my real life.

How long I have to wait for him, days, months, year, or even ages? Don’t let me count the tears I dropped, I just need you here.

Yesterday I dropped the tears. I always beg to God, that HE can send him to my place. I know I don’t dwell in the paradise, I know I cannot promise him happiness all the time, but he is part of my corpuscle. I need him..

Can he realize that? I don’t wanna die slowly, I still wanna take my time wishing upon a star, I still wanna cherish my life with my friend.

Can somebody near here loving me?
You said that love is unconditional? But where is the fact? I wait..wait..wait…! I count the time, my friend is only time and my hand phone.

If someone next to me, come to me and he says “I do love you” I would accept him, no matter what happened, I will close my eyes, my mind and my ears. I don’t wanna listen to him anymore. I don’t give a damn to what people will say.

For sure I do love you..

Selamat pagi semua..
I came early this morning, I dunno what’s up with me? Still there were several birds spinning on my head, I turned on the computer and checked several paper on my desk, It has been raining hard this morning until now. All of my friends came late, I arrived at the office at 7.30 Am. I met my friend on train this morning his name’s herdi he is really cute, in my neighborhood he is the cutest of all, my best friend like him a lot he is a type of pious man that’s why my best friend admiring him a lot besides he has a good looking face, i had a very short conversation with him then I had to stop in LA station (Lenteng agung).

Oya..yesterday I create an account on Multiply, coz I read the Fira Basuki‘s account. she is a writer, even though I never read her book, I think I am gonna buy her book this weekend, I just want to compare her book and her blog.

Hmm..what else sometimes I have a fool wishful though, that I can read sb’s mind, coz I’ve just read something that I never think before. I wish me capable on doing that, but I choose not. Let it flow by it self. My mind is getting to exploded with all the new things, maybe I should exploding myself like a suicide bomber and destroying myself (better not think of it)

Last night I slept 11 PM, and I couldn’t sleep well. I don’t know why? All I know, thinking is a way or releasing my stress and anger.

“I wanna be good,
I wanna deserve heaven, but what if I cant be good?
So better die soon,
So I don’t dirty my soul more
Yeah, Lord can you hearme,
Didn’t you say ask anything you want and I give you.
I want death, I hate this life, it’s useless,
It’s meaningless, I don’t want money,
I don’t want have my own job, family, home…
I jus wanna be good.”

Can I help him?
To get him moving steady...alone, or whoever he wants me to be with.
In this warm cozy earth (not sleet, not blizzard, no tornado, or disaster) You created.
Can I hug him with my invisible huge 'hands' that Almighty.
I want to be one entity, me and my soul.

When the dreams come true
do we still need to sleep?
Just because what's in the sky blue
is really deep.

When the dreams come to reality
do we still need to imagine?
Just because flying high around the city
now is easy all of the sudden.

I ask you again, my friend
do we still need to close our eyes?
Just because all God sent
are beautiful and nice.

When the dreams come true
I don't want to sleep...
but how long can I last?
Just because my eyes are tired
my soul are tired
people are tired
I am tired
and I am listening to them

Kahlil Gibran: "Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today."
or should I do what old people said, "Those who lose dreaming are lost."
But really I don't want ending up like Hamlet: "For in the sleep of death, what dreams may come."

You know my friend?
When the dreams come true
I am dreaming of the dreams.


From: Firabas

Aku kadang gak ngerti, rasanya ada sejumlah sel di dalam tubuhku yang ingin keluar, aku rasa mereka bosan dengan setiap jengkal langkah yang aku ambil. Kebosanan yang ada karena rutinitas harian dan fisik yang lelah. Mungkin inilah gunanya sebuah cuti, setiap karyawan yang bekerja dalam 5 hari kerja mempunyai tingkat stress yang berbeda (how do I know this) dan dalam satu tahun mereka berhak mendapatkan 12 hari kerja untuk cuti.

Mungkin saat ini aku sedang memerlukannya, pekerjaan ku akhir2 ini tidak terlalu banyak ...oooo...really?? hehehe..yup I plan to take my holiday on March to Jogja. Kebosanan memang selalu akan hadir, walaupun kita telah mengambil cuti tersebut, yahhh...setelah cuti kita kan kembali ke rutinitas kita sehari-hari, kembali duduk di bangku yang sudah hampir tipis kita duduki tiap harinya, menatap layar komputer, mengamati dengan cermat seluruh pekerjaan yang kita buat, kadang salah sedikit mungkin bisa berakibat fatal, dan efeknya terhadap karir kita bisa runyam.

hmm..untuk menghilangkan kebosanan mungkin kita dapat bersosialisasi dengan orang yang ada disekeliling kita, aku mengangap dialog antara dua orang adalah juga merupakan suatu bentuk kecil dari sosialisasi. Luangkan waktu sejenak untuk menyapa orang disekeliling kita.

Akhir - akhir ini aku mendengar rumor kalau aku akan dipindahkan ke bagian HRD, aku sih belum tahu Job Desc nya apa, tapi what the hell!! gee..I think someone has a right to choose, which position I like most, and so I can put my skill on it!! why they dont consider that? I think they gonna kick my a** from this branch office.

Yeah..aku gak terlalu ngerti apa yang perusahaan ini mau dari aku. Mungkin aku harus ambil kesempatan itu, atau aku harus stay disini, tapi mereka berdua (boss and HRD) berdebat siapa yang berhak terhadap keberadaan aku dan salah satu rekan kerjaku. Orang HRD bilang status ku hanya di BKO-kan di DRC dan ini sudah saatnya dipindah ke GA.

Aku tau aku masih punya kewajiban di DRC yang belum aku selesaikan, tapi aku mencintai how to make a procedure, tapi di DRC waktu terasa sangat lambat sekali (sebelum dan sesudah MR. Buzz meninggal (Blessed Mr. BUZZ))satu detik bakalan terasa seribu tahun. Semua jadwal yang telah aku buat tidak ada yang pernah tepat dan selalu saja mundur, seperti untuk sosialisasi DRP, aku sudah buat jadwal dan aku sudah confirm ke tiap bank. Tapi realitanya sampai sekarang satu pun belum ada yang terlaksana...huhuhuhu.... tapi mudah-mudahan saja untuk jadwal simulasi DRC antara Cikarang - Medan akan benar-benar terlaksana tanpa ada halangan lagi (dan tanpa memakan korban jiwa lagi, huiiihhh..so hard hah?)AMIN..AMIN..AMIN...


I hope everything will just fine and I hope I can handle this dull situation this time I wanna write in my language..

I was coming late this morning because the train was also late...gee..thanks to God the train was not too full. I arrived in Lenteng Agung Station about 08.00 AM. and as usual I take the angkot, I found a woman with her two kids (boy and girl), and 2 mens were sitting beside the little girl. The little girl was eating someting, for sure I didnt know what she ate. Then her mother told him, to be carefull of the sauce, it might leave a spot on my shirt. and then suddenly the little girl said that I was so fragrant ...(her mom was only smiling) then I ask her "Dont you feel fragrant too?" and then she answered " No, miss, because I have not taken a bath this morning" suddenly we all laughed together plus with the driver...

hmm..how honest the children ...

I just wanna say happy anniversary for me and for him.

05.15 PM


I had a meeting this afternoon, then Mr Ikhsan was called by Mr Mari He told Mr Ikhsan that Me and IRvan will move to wisma raharja.

Why I really..really so lazy today. I have'nt made any schedule for the test in the alternate site, I havent typed the system Management, I havent finished the translation, is it because today is friday? umm..no wonder!!

I came late this morning, coz I slept at 11.00 PM last night, I saw the concert of ada band (I love Doni, he is so cute) and I had a conversation with my uncle who had just came from Jogjakarta.

And after the office hour may be I will go with yuli, I need to share my blue feeling with her..

I need to talk to someone..

She was not beautiful.
Nothing about her was extraordinary.
Nothing about her made her stand out in a crowd.
she learnt responsibility at an early age.
As she grew stronger, and brighter,
She instilled a sort of light cheer to whomever she met.

She was not beautiful.
But she made others feel beautiful about themselves.
She meets a rebel boy who thinks he's all man.
Befriending him, she teaches him how to read,
A little boost the man needed to go to college.

They became friends fast and she fell,
Fast in love with her rugged, handsome student.
The "man" then finds himself in a dilemma..
He soon found himself in love with a girl.
A girl so beautiful, she turned even the grouchiest men's head.
Her hair was a halo of light around her,
Her eyes the bluest blue of ocean.
Like an angel he tells his tutor
Like a beautiful angel.

The girl swallows a lump at her throat,
She was not beautiful..
She did not possess the heart of the one she loved..
But she did not care.
As long as he was happy,
She would be or so she tried to.

She helped him write the most beautiful letter to his angel,
All the time envisioning that it was she herself
Receiving those very letters.
And so the girl helped him choose the right words,
Buy the right gifts for his angel..
His angel brought him much joy,
And much pain to the girl who cried behind her smiles.
But that never stopped her from giving more
Than she will ever receive.

Then one day, all hell broke loose.
The angel he loved left him for another man,
A richer, more successful man.
The boy was stunned..
He was so hurt he did not speak for days.
The girl went to him.
He cried on her shoulder and she cried with him.
He hurt and so did she.

Time went by.
And so the wounds healed.
The boy realizes something about his friend/tutor
He never realized before.
How her laughter sounded heavenly...
Or how her smiles brightened up the darkest days.
Or simply how beautiful, yes beautiful she looked to him!

Beautiful.
This plain, simple girl was beautiful to him.
And he began to fall.
Fall so in love with this beautiful girl.

One day, he picks up all his courage to see her.
He walked to her house, nervous and fidgeting.
Running his thoughts over and over in his head.
He was going to tell her how beautiful she was to him.
He was going to tell her how wonderfully in love he was with her.

He knocked.
No one was home.
The next day he finds out,
The beautiful girl he fell in love with
had had a brain aneurysm, putting her into a coma.
The doctors were grim and the family decided to let her go.

One final time he got to see her.
He held her hand.
He stroked her hair.
And he cried for this beautiful girl.
He cried, for he will never see her smile.
Or hear her speak his name.
He cried.
But it was too late.
The beautiful girl was buried and the heavens broke out
In a beautiful spring shower, a cry for their loss.
She was the most beautiful girl in the world.

Look around you.
Aren't there a lot of plain faces?
Take a good look.
A real good look or you might miss out
On that beautiful person.
Forever . . .

Think about it seriously. May be u find one..................,

Tell your beloved how much they mean to you, because tomorrow may be too late...... when tomorrow never comes...........

I had figure it out something...


I dont wanna talk about it....


It makes me sooooo jelous somehow...


gee..how come? (this question always spining on my head)


I wish I could turn ".........." back


I am not gonna expect too much...

was written by : anonymous..

I Love Someone..…
I love someone,
He is far away from here,
But believe me if I said,
That he is beside me,
I didn't know what love is,
I don't know if he knows it either,
Just feeling it makes me a dreamer,
Yes I love someone,
He is very close to my heart,
Not close, actually he is my heart,
I don't know if I am right or wrong,
I don't want to know that,
Because knowing it may smash my dreams,
I want to dream,dreamm and dream all the time,
I am hearing a sweet sound,
Oh my God, is it the sound of love,
He is calling me,
Should I respond to that or not,
Or maybe I have already responded to it,
Again I will say that I love someone,
I love my self more than any thing else,
But when I knew him,
I just want him to be inside me,
To love him more than my self,
I didn't see his face,
Although he was in front of me,
Staring at me in a wonderful way,
What was the thing that stopped me from looking at him?
Was I feeling afraid and shy?
But I am afraid of what,
I wish if there is a person,
Who can explain what is happening to me,
Yes I still love him,

And let him feel this wonderful thing,
It will not change anything,
It is important for me,
That I have felt this wonderful thing,
Because I love him, I will sacrifice,
Or may be I am persuading my self by these thoughts,
Actually I am afraid of facing my love,
But when I will be strong to face him,
I want to live with my love,
I want my love to love me in his way,
But when this will happen, God please tell me?